It takes time
I looked at my gardens the other day and saw just how different the bed I completed two years ago is when compared to the beds I finished last year.
Two years ago:
I like that good gardening builds on itself year over year. The plants need rest periods. After going dormant and resting, they come back and flourish bigger than the year before.
And here's where I connect my gardening journey with my writing journey.
2020 wasn't a rest period for me. I hope it was okay for you. I hope you made it through 2020 as a whole person.
I spent a lot of time keeping myself busy and hiding from my feelings. I buried myself in obligations, so I had a whole host of excuses for why I wasn't writing. I couldn't focus enough to read, so I devoured a lot of audiobooks.
When winter and the holidays hit, I baked a lot. I ate a lot. I gained weight. I fought the sadness.
I wrote a little bit.
Now, the sunshine is back. I'm putting in the daily work to build myself into the person I want to be. I'm listening to the quiet voice in the back of my head that says "It's okay to be silly. It's okay to write the silly. Write the joy."
With that, I'm taking a break from the live meetings for April. I've canceled the meetings on Meetup. I think when May comes, I'll go back to meeting once a month. Hopefully, the in-person meetings will return. I miss seeing faces and hearing voices.
Stay safe. Wash your hands. Talk to your friends about fighting internalized racism. Black Lives Matter. Stop Asian Hate. They're not just slogans. They're how we make the world better for all of us.